


Coffee Milk?

by Bleck



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 19:42:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11951277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bleck/pseuds/Bleck
Summary: Self indulgent crack based on state differences.





	Coffee Milk?

**Author's Note:**

> The only canon information about where his aunt lives is somewhere on the east coast. I picked Rhode Island.

"You don't have coffee milk here, right?" I asked, flipping through the menu.

"Uh...yea. It's called a cappuccino, bird brain." Marco said, looking at me like I was a total moron.

"No, it's not that. It's like how chocolate syrup makes chocolate milk. Coffee syrup makes coffee milk." I explained.

"Uh, no. Normal people don't have that, dude." Marco said, rolling his eyes and looking at his own menu.

"Why?" Cassie asked, looking interested. "I've never heard of it."

"It just tastes good and I was thinking about it." I shrugged. "I guess it's an east coast thing maybe."

"Ah, yes. The east coast. Co-ah. Sst. Coast. That is an intriguing word. I have read about the east coast in the American encyclopedia. Which state did you live in, Tobias?" Ax asked, launching into a list of the states before I could answer. "There is Delaware, Maryland, Vermont, Florida, New Hampshire, Main, Mass-"

"Tobias, answer the boy before he freaks out over that next word." Marco said, sternly.

"My aunt lives in Rhode Island." I said.

"Ah, yes. The last state to sign the constitution. It is very small. It was founded by Roger Williams after he was exiled for his religious beliefs." Ax explained. "Coffee milk is the state drink of Rhode Island."

"Yea." I didn't know that.

"Oh, boy, can we please move on to something interesting?" Marco complained.

"Shut up, Marco." Rachel said, glaring at him. "I didn't know states had state drinks. I thought it was just flowers and stuff."

I shrugged. Me either.

"Does it taste like coffee?" Jake asked, looking down at me. The bad thing about sitting between Jake and Rachel was how short it made me seem, even though I was only a little bit shorter than Ax in his human morph. Like, two inches max.

"Not really. Sort of? It's kinda like how strawberry milk doesn't really taste like strawberries but you can tell it's trying. It tastes sort of like iced coffee."

"What other state specific things can you think of, Tobias?" Cassie asked.

"Malt vinegar on french fries is good." Everyone but Ax stared at me like I had just decided to morph on public. Horrified and confused.

"Sorry, Tobias, but ew. Vinegar? No way." Rachel said, squeezing my hand under the table for a second.

"It's not like you dunk them in a little container like you do with ketchup. You've gotta shake the bottle to get anything out." I said.

"If the rest of the food is like that, no wonder you ended up so weird." Marco said, laughing at his own joke. He was being extra annoying but we were all exhausted from the last mission. Hence food. Ax and I ate on the way back but neither of us minded eating as humans.

I rolled my eyes. I didn't get to do that very often.

"You can't really talk about Tobias being weird when we're all dating him." Rachel said. Cassie hummed agreement as Jake kissed me on the cheek.

The waitress who appeared looked about as shocked as you would expect a Denny's waitress who was working at three in the morning to be. Which was to say, not at all.

**Author's Note:**

> This is likely only funny to me, I apologize.


End file.
